4:30 am

Why does the smoke alarm always decide to eat the rest of the battery juice and start beeping in the middle of the night?

That's what happened last night.

I was having a very vivid dream of my SO roasting a turkey (if you know him, you know this would NEVER happen). As he was roasting the bird, the smoke alarm started going off and I started yelling at him -- poor dude I nag him even in my dreams. The high pitched shrill of the alarm kept going off and was getting louder and louder.

Then I woke up. I noticed there was no bear next to me (aka: SO). I squinted at the clock, mind you I am wicked blind without the contacts in, and noticed it was exactly 4:30am . That's when it hit me: the sharp, but dull, very heavy pain in the head, you know the start of a shitty migraine. No SO, a start of a headache and then a very high pitch squeak/beep resonating from the hallway.

I stumbled out of the bed and found the SO standing on a stool (really, the 6'2" dude needs a step stool to reach something on the less than 7 foot tall ceiling?). He was looking pissed off as hell, but also like he was going to cry. He was holding a battery in one hand and a very busted looking smoke alarm in the other - still attached to the ceiling. As I was looking at this scene the very busted looking smoke alarm beeped this horrible loud shrilly beep that echoed through the tiny, narrow hallway and made the bunny in the next room start thumping his little foot. My poor SO look totally defeated. He was mumbling something about he can't get it to stop beeping, the new battery must be dead, and how in undergrad the same thing happened. Apparently a smoke alarm died out and started beeping the night before his physics final. And because of that he got his only D ever, blah blah blah. I just looked at him and took the smoke alarm and ripped it out of the ceiling and said F*!% it. As I was holding it, the damn thing beeped again! So I ended up throwing the bitch under some pillows and blankets to drown out the sound. He looked at me shocked, as I said, "Nevermind, we'll deal with the freakin' thing in the morning."

But dude, come on, 4:30 am, headache, and at this point I still thought it was going off because his stupid ass burnt the damn turkey.

I went back to bed.